is your mom at the bar?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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