and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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