I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
