So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
