Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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