i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
