O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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