apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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