she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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