FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
