butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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