Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
kristin has been a bad kristin
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
