...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
