he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
