So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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