he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
