if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Houston, we have a squirter
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
