the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
