I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize