i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize