apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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