Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
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Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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