You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize