I wish my penis had an off switch
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
