The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
