Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
