I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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