so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
