i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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