Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
