dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
