Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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