Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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