how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
