I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
