this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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