just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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