you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
