Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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