Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
