He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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