Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize