I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
