We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
