Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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