I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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