garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude. I can hear the air.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
