i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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