the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
