Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
