I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
