Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
