lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
