i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
