too bad you live with your parents still
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
