I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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