i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
