I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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