The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
