Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
