i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
