I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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