I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we should paint friendship bongs
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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