Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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